So this thing called life
I find it gets harder and harder every single day. The pressure never subsides, the thoughts of continuing to live just keep getting more and more complicated and the want for my own life decreases by the hour. They always say god will never give you more than you can handle... I’ve had my share thank you and I believe beyond a reasonable doubt that it is bullshit. Wherever god is, I have never in my life understood why he hates me so much and gives me an extreme amount more than I can handle. The only things that have kept me going for the past 10 Years have been my children. They drive me absolutely crazy but what would life be like for them if they didn’t any longer have a mother bc she couldn’t handle anymore bullshit? I could never ever put my kids through that. I don’t think there has been a single day pass that I have not been tested. I haven’t always passed, but I have survived the storms god has thrown my way. For that, the fear has been the only thing keeping me going bc I surely do not want to be here any longer, but I need to be. My job here on earth is not finished, I will never be finished.
Friday, October 27, 2017
Saturday, October 7, 2017
She Will Win
She knew this would happen...
She tries to save the world, but she fails.
She gives it all she's got, but she fails.
She helps everyone, but she loses herself.
She loses herself in the worse times, in the worse ways you could imagine.
* Wishing she were non existent from the feelings of insecurity, she's invisible and passing through doorways only passing herself as she carries the feeling of unappreciated burdens of her so called life. Only needed for pleasing others when her own self has been neglected for so long that she knows no other way of life. She's Multi talented and underpaid, yet unrefined, course, and conventional, believing that through faith, anything is possible. Head strong and heavy handed, she will one day defeat the world instead of saving it. Maybe one day she will learn to overcome the disappointments from the people she once loved, maybe she can love again. Battered, bruised, used and soft heart but by the sweat of her brow and the dirt in her nails, she will rise up!
She will conquer, she will succumb.
She will succeed, she will flourish.
She will Divide from the weak, she will WIN!
She tries to save the world, but she fails.
She gives it all she's got, but she fails.
She helps everyone, but she loses herself.
She loses herself in the worse times, in the worse ways you could imagine.
* Wishing she were non existent from the feelings of insecurity, she's invisible and passing through doorways only passing herself as she carries the feeling of unappreciated burdens of her so called life. Only needed for pleasing others when her own self has been neglected for so long that she knows no other way of life. She's Multi talented and underpaid, yet unrefined, course, and conventional, believing that through faith, anything is possible. Head strong and heavy handed, she will one day defeat the world instead of saving it. Maybe one day she will learn to overcome the disappointments from the people she once loved, maybe she can love again. Battered, bruised, used and soft heart but by the sweat of her brow and the dirt in her nails, she will rise up!
She will conquer, she will succumb.
She will succeed, she will flourish.
She will Divide from the weak, she will WIN!
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