Lonely

Being lonely and left feeling alone isn't the best feeling in a marriage. Never feeling like your wanted, just ignored and walked past as if you didn't exist. Left to cook, clean and referee the kids including his, getting drove crazy by them and trying to raise them right when he has absolutely no care in the world how they turn out obviously. It's my job to make sure they graduate and to make sure they all don't turn out to be ungrateful little shits -all my job! He can skirt around with an ex girlfriend behind my back, yet I forgive him bc realizing we both neglected each other in the marriage, only now, it has become nothing but one sided. My side.... my efforts to make him happy and do all of the duties of a mother and father. Why Why Why have I done this to myself? Taking him back after this last episode and he getting busted. I am the one trying harder and apologizing? I think it's time to make some changes in my life and he will be the first one. After all, it's better than shaving my head and going insane, losing myself and the children in the process as he enjoys his best friend (his 19 year old son) - not me!
                               Sincerely, bored out of my mind bc he doesn't do a thing with me or for me.
WTH is wrong with me?